


Categories

by seethemonte



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-09
Updated: 2011-06-09
Packaged: 2017-10-20 06:56:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/209979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seethemonte/pseuds/seethemonte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It would be easier to leave; nobody could blame him. He could act as shocked at the rest, his dark secret that he’d kept perfectly hidden. Nobody would find out because he was expected to be elsewhere."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Categories

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Ashley for ~beta-ing

He stared at the peeling wallpaper of the hallway. What previously displayed a floral pattern now only appeared as a yellowed blur. There were stairs to his immediate left and countless times he’d gotten up to take their exit. It would be easier to leave; nobody could blame him. He could act as shocked at the rest, his dark secret that he’d kept perfectly hidden. Nobody would find out because he was expected to be elsewhere. He wasn’t supposed to be here, and the band was currently wondering where he had gone, but it didn’t matter. His phone had stopped ringing every few seconds and now it was silent. Besides the continuous trickle of water he could hear through the walls – probably from Adam’s sink or bathtub – it was silent. The buzzing of the old overhead light became dull enough that it hardly registered.

 

He gave up, but waiting here by the door and the stairs comforted him. He could hear shuffling through the paper thin wall. Maybe somehow his presence would be felt, and Adam would stop what he was doing. He’d come out, apologize, then Tommy would hug him and they’d go to apologize to the band. Isaac would ask if they were having sex and then run away giggling before Tommy shoved him into a wall. Then things would go on, with Adam’s voice sounding only slightly shaky. He’d probably ask for a chair and tea. He liked tea.

 

A sudden crash jolted Tommy, and he could now feel everything. Somebody was at the foot of the stairs, trying to get the key for the security gate to work. And a few rooms over, the TV was on and they were listening to infomercials. The smell of pee and wet dog permeated the air. Quickly, Adam’s room fell silent. The person trying to get up the stairs remained shut out due to a faulty key or reader.

 

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!” Tommy screamed, fist banging on the door. Tears flowed down Tommy's face now, he couldn’t help himself. “LET. ME. IN.”

 

“Please leave,” his weak voice mumbled from this inside of the hotel room. He was close, speaking right into the wood probably. Tommy was shocked as he’d ever been. Adam hadn’t been answering him at all. “I’m done. Just go.”

 

“Just let me in,” Tommy begged, sliding down onto the stained carpet yet again. There was silence. Tommy noticed Adam trying to slip a piece of paper under the door. He couldn’t get the edges to fold right. Tommy tried to help him, grabbing for it from his side. The tips of Adam’s fingers met Tommy’s, and for a lifetime stayed there. But then Tommy was reading the note, unsure.

 _  
_

_To whoever: and Tommy also_

 _I thought I wanted everything, so much so I convinced myself I did. For a long time I believed it. And when I got it, I was so excited!_

 _But it got old. I knew I was lying to myself. I see why so many people are where I am. Was. Everyone is always saying you have so much to live for. ‘You just got everything!’_

 _I don’t want every, all, totality, completion. But I had the life. I should just shut up, the general public._

 _If I fooled you, this is for you._

 _A_

 

That was it? A few lines? There’s more to it than that! He could just quit being famous! It’s possible, it had to be. He could be a one-hit-wonder type of person and fall off the face of the earth.

The way his name was added to the address.

There was a sudden pressure pushing towards him from the other side of the door. He knew. He knew! And suddenly he couldn’t feel. He wanted to tell somebody, anybody who would listen. They would know what to do because he wasn’t qualified. And now Adam’s body was slowly losing heat, losing the touch he craved so greatly. The planet would never return to what it was before, because now it’s most valuable human was dead. He wanted a day dedicated to Adam. The whole world should mourn because Adam was perfect. Untouchable. No matter how close Tommy got to him, Adam had always been on another, higher, level. Tommy was just another person, categorized into so many different categories. But Adam had no categories; he was just Adam. But now everybody was filtered into categories, and Tommy had nobody above him to look up to.

 

No one.


End file.
